Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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