Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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