i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
