I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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