her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
