Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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