The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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