I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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