you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
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