I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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