Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
