I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
