in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
