Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize