Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
