i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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