it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
His hands were made for my vagina.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
