I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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