paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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