Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
