I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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