that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
