in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
