How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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