he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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