Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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