okay pat passed out under dana's car
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
