I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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