worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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