I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
and she was petting her beer can
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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