I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I cut my penus on the lid.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
