whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
