currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
