i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
