I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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