Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
