I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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