To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
A+ Viking dick
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
