I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I just had sex on a roof
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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