the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
