I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I know her cup size but not her name....
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Help. Why am I so naked?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize