puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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