I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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