Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
