I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
