This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
