You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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