Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
