I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
YAS. BRING CRAB.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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