I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
