Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
