Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
