Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize