it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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