can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
