im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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