If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
